Where Does My Heart Beat Now
by Coachkimm
Summary: What happens when you promise yourself that you will protect your heart at all costs and somebody comes in and tries to take it from you?
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi everyone, this is my first CM fic and I am a little unsure if it. So let me know what you think of my teaser and if I should continue with this. I do not own Criminal Minds or the great characters. Just using them for a little bit. Please feel free to leave a review or PM with what you think so far. _**

I was in high school when I first gave my heart away. It was the last month of my senior year of high school and I fell so unbelievably hard. The only problem was I did not fall for a guy as though for my best friend. I had met her at the beginning of the year and we just clicked. In addition, somewhere along the way I just lost my heart. She ended up being my first everything, including most importantly my first heartbreak. Took me over a year to get over her but I eventually did but in that time I also decided I was never can get my heart away again. So 10 years later when I got that feeling again, I didn't know what to do and I was scared out of my mind, so this is where the story truly can begin.

I have been working for the FBI a little over 3 years now. I am very good at my job and very successful. I am the media liaison for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. The unit travels all over the country profiling killers. It is my job to help with the press conferences and to coordinate with the local police departments. It is a demanding job but one that I love, and I don't think I could see myself doing anything else. It was during college that I thought that I wanted to become a journalist, to write those news stories to help change people's lives to make a difference in the world. During my junior year of college, I listened to a guest speaker from the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit. It was during that lecture that I realized that I did not have to a journalist to change the world I could join the FBI, do the same thing, and perhaps make a greater impact on wider range of people. I put my heart and soul into my career. I did not date I did not have friends. I had my BAU family and that is all I really needed. Right?


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hello again all, Just wanted to say thanks to everyone added this to their alerts and whatnot. As you can tell I write slowly. Also I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine and I try to go over things again before I post but I am human after all. Also I do not own Criminal Minds, CBS or any of the other good things surrounding the show. One last thing I should warn you about, just about all of my chapters will be short I would like to say that they are short because that means I can post them faster but that would be a lie. They are short because my writing comes in short bursts and I know enough about myself to know that I can't push it and if I do it will be crap. It might be crap either way but I feel better if I write in the slow bursts. Anyway this A/N is going to be just as long as the update if I don't shut up now. On with the show as the say. _**

My family, what can I say about them I love them. I guess sometimes when you spend 20 hours a day with somebody day they become your family. We truly are a crazy family and I wouldn't have it any other way. First, there is our team leader, Aaron Hotchner he is like the father of the group. Then we have David Rossi he's the fun-loving grandfather to us all. Derek Morgan is the protective older brother. Spencer Reid is the geeky younger brother. Finally yet importantly is Penelope Garcia she is the glue that keeps us all together. And me I guess I was the little sister that they thought always needed to be protected. I wasn't a profiler like the rest of the team. I was the Media Liaison, the go between from the team to the cop to the media. So the team thought that I needed to be protected at times. I however thought it was always a little funny that I am the best shot on the team. That's right little ole tiny me the best shot on the team.

I had been with the team almost three years when I first met her. She was standing in Hotch's office when I walked in to tell him we had a case. I wasn't sure who she was but there was just something about her that made me want to know more about her in that 20 seconds that I saw her. I had put her out of my mind as we got caught up in the case. It turned out to be a really bad one, the guys figured out who the unsub was quickly but we still needed to find him. He ended up finding us. Well I should say he end up finding me.

It was a good thing I was the best shot on the team because I did have to end up shooting him. Not that I wanted to because trust me that is something that none of us ever want to really do but because it was his life or mine. It was the first time that I have ever fired my weapon in the line of duty and I sure as hell never want to do that again. On the way back home, both Hotch and Rossi tried to talk to me but I told them both I wasn't ready to talk about it. It was the truth I couldn't talk about what happened and I am not sure when I could. When we got back into the office that night there she was again standing in Hotch's office. However this time I was so wrapped up in my stuff I really didn't care. I did just what I needed to do and went home, or at least that is what I told the team I was doing. I ended up going to the bar down the street from my house.

I had taken a life today and I didn't know how to deal with that. So I had one beer and one beer turned into two turned into six. Somewhere along the way some guys had joined me and started buying shots for me also. I was beyond drowning my troubles in the alcohol. I didn't realize how much trouble I was until I was being helped out of the bar by two of the guys that had been buying me shots. Just before I pass out I see her again. I think I hear her saying "there you are, I am here to take you home now."


End file.
